Oh where, oh where...

Last night I wrote some new lyrics to this song:

vonnylein's version:

"Oh where, oh where has my motivation gone?

Oh where, oh where can it be?

With my time cut short, and my list so long,

Oh where, oh where can it be?"

Ai yai yai!  I know that I'm not the only one who has days (or weeks) like this.  But HONESTLY, I have so much to do!  I really need to kick it into high gear.

My brain feels as though it has turned to mush, and my legs have hardened to cement (except for last night when I took Baby J on a power walk along the same route that I used to run.  40 minutes from start to finish...oh baby, we were moving' and grovin'!).  

Now if only I could translate the outdoor physical energy into the indoors.

Here I go to give it a shot!  Maybe some music will help?

"Oh where, oh where has my..."

Oops!  Don't worry, I'll choose a different song!

On Becoming a "Good Mennonite Housewife": Making Jam

Oma was over on Monday helping me along in my "become a good Mennonite housewife" journey.  This time is was a delicious jam-making session!!  

Mr. vL, fantastic as always, took Baby J (who isn't looking so much like a baby anymore!) to our nearby "petting farm," while Oma and I got to work peeling, grinding, boiling, and canning 17 jars of Peach and Peach-Orange Jam.  

In hindsight, some 'during' photos would have been lovely.  And I should have remembered to write out the oh-so-simple recipe for the Peach-Orange Jam.  Another day I suppose. 

For now, enjoy the following photos demonstrating my our hard work, complete with a vintage egg-picking basket and fruit farm sign.  Oh how I love my farming roots!

Happy Canning & Happy Peach Season!!!

'Saving the Environment,' One VHS at a Time

We have been purging our video and music collection over the last few days.

It may sound silly to some, but as part of a decision that handsome hubby and I made regarding our personal faith journeys, we have been purging.  

Our collection has dwindled...CDs, DVDs, and some old-fashioned VHS'.  

To add to this remarkable, mundane story, I asked Mr. vL if we could recycle the VHS cases.  We are avid recyclers around here, and it bothered me to just toss these into the trash.  

This my friends, defined "true love" last night:

Mr. vL spent his evening unscrewing each case, taking out the film tape, and separating it from the recyclable parts.

Something that seems so small to most, and yet is so important to me....yep, he *gets* me!

Here's to husbands that figure out a way to recycle VHS tapes (or any of those others things we ask them to do!)

{List Makers} Personal Goals

My family and friends know that I love making lists.  At this moment, I have a sheet of note paper, double-sided full of bulleted points describing things that I need to do, want to do, and could do, either today, tomorrow, or...never.  "Clean oven" has been on many lists for the last two months.  My oven is still not clean.  (Dearest husband...it WILL get done!!)  Remember that pretty weekly planner I completed two weeks ago?  I'm just hanging it up today.  

To me, lists are 'happier' (because a list can express emotion), when they are pretty.  

For fun, I thought I'd share my 2012 goals list with you.  It's not the only goal list in our home.  Mr. vL and I made another one together, but this one is clearly the prettier of the two.  

As you read my list, feel free to speculate over the goals I've accomplished, and those that I haven't; however, I cannot promise to disclose that information with you.  

Happy List Making!

I'm Baaaack!

Birthday parties, church events, and everyday busyness had my mind spinning in circles, and so with some sadness, I closed down "vonnylein" to take a much-needed break.  

After several months though, I realized how much I missed writing!  I miss the community of crafters, mommies, and God-loving ladies, as well as the opportunity to share bits of my life with family and friends that they may not otherwise have the chance to see and experience.

And so, I am back.  *happy dance!*

I'm sure that bits and pieces of those past quiet months will trickle out through various blog posts; however, I thought I could start off with an introduction to a little project that I've been working on for far too long now.

We shall call it: Taming the Chaos of My Mind!  

I decided one day that I needed a way to visually display (perhaps only in words) projects that I am attempting to accomplish.  My hope is that this will ultimately keep me accountable to FINISHING something!

Here are some fancy-dancy ideas that I found through Pinterest.  Ahhh....the beauty of organization.

Image Sources: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5

Image Sources: 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 

Tomorrow I will share which design I chose to go with, and how I tweaked it to fit my personal taste.

Happy Wednesday!

Bedtime

I love listening to Baby J as he falls asleep.

*suck, suck, suck*

*pause*

*suck, suck, suck*

*pause*

Ah...my little thumbsucker!  

"Now I lay me down to sleep...."

J pressed bunny's foot to replay the prayer it recites.

:)

*suck, suck, suck*

I love the smile on his face when he finally lays down after our bedtime routine.

Arms down at his sides (unless his left thumb finds it way home), head turned toward me, cutest little tired grin stretching from ear to ear.

Hubby loves when we finish his bedtime routine and stand up to put J into bed, how he lunges toward his crib.  When that child is tired, he is tired!

So many things to love.  

It's nice how we can love bedtime too.

Busy, Busy!

My best friend sent me a lovely message yesterday:

"...you must be getting bogged down with birthday stuff because I don't see any new blog posts!  Thinking of you!  ...call me to chat sometime when you are not running around like crazy!"

Dearest best friend, I am thinking of you too!  And wonder if there will ever be a time when you and I are not "running around like crazy."

:)

Note: "You AND I."  

(It must be a teacher thing...running around like crazy...)

The truth is, yes I am a little "bogged down" with birthday stuff, but happily so!

My little family of three has been busy.  Birthday plans are coming along well and I cannot wait to share  those details over the next weeks.  There are also some redecorating plans in action, "women's night" at church to plan for, and crafts to make, games to play, books to read, and walks to take!

I love my life!

And to prove that yes, I am HAPPY and not running myself dry (cutting, pasting, sewing and baking are all happy, happy things!).....here is a happy family photo from my mother-in-law's 50th.  

(Ah, Baby J with your finger in your mouth.)

Best friend, I shall call you later.  :)

Everyone else...

Have a fantastic day!

Baby Hip-Thrusting & Cleansing

We celebrated my mother-in-law's 50th birthday this evening.  What a fantastic group of people we had there!  She seemed so thrilled with the surprise.  :)  

Baby J was in all his glory: four little girls to chase after and dance with.  His latest thing to do when the music plays is a little hip-thrust dance move while sitting on his bum.  Oh goodness...he sure strutted his stuff tonight!  He is a baby dancing machine.  (And I am a proud momma!)

And, in light of Lent....I left the party a little hungry.

I decided to do a 10-day cleanse beginning on the first day of Lent.

*sigh*

Day Four.

I am craving EVERYTHING.  Okay, not everything....I am craving everything 'junky.'  Hot chocolate, BBQ chips, chocolate chip cookies, pancakes, birthday cake, pop (i.e. soda), macaroni and cheese....mmmmm....macaroni and cheese.  I LOVE macaroni and cheese - especially the homemade macaroni and cheese that I made last night for my boys.  I was in some sort of serious agony watching them eat it without me.

But it is day four.

Six days remain.

Since Lent lasts for 40 days, I think that 'part two' of my Lenten experience may be to cleanse my mind.  I'm not quite sure what that would look like, but I like the idea.  Then perhaps my heart (spiritually, not physically of course), and then perhaps my home.  I could spend 10 days in each area.

Four areas that need cleansing:

1.  My Body

2.  My Mind

3.  My Heart

4.  My Home

I have definitely reflected a lot on my personal habits over the last four days.  

Day One:  I realized how often I just put food into my mouth.  I had to actually stop myself several times throughout the day.  Baby J drops a piece of food, it apparently goes into my mouth.  Baby J doesn't finish his entire meal, apparently I help.  I make food for my family, apparently I snack while that happens.  I feel distracted, apparently I reach for food.  That's a LOT of unnecessary snacking!

Day Two:  Goodness what a physically-draining day.  I just prayed for strength.  I was TIRED.  And agitated.  Not good.  Food-wise, I felt more in control.

Day Three:  I was surprisingly not hungry today.  I felt a little more in control of my emotions and actions.  Food did not bother me so much.

Day Four:  I am hurtin' tonight.  Craving, craving, craving.  A little sleep might do me well.  

Hopefully tomorrow will be easier.  And after that I'm half-way through!

If anyone is interested, I am following what's called "The Master Cleanse" (or to some, "The Lemonade Diet").  

It is tough, but great!

Sweet dreams my friends.  :)

Kisses Through the Crib Rails

Baby J crawled to the edge of his crib tonight when I laid him down.

I knelt down to his eye-level,

pressed my nose against his

and welcomed with joy

the slobbery kiss that awaited me.

I love his ability to interact

and his little

expressions
of
love.

{Extending that love to you tonight...}  :)

Love, Peace and iGoogle

It is 9:30 on a Saturday night.

I am happily at home 'alone' (Baby J is sleeping in the room next to me), while handsome hubby is off celebrating a friend's birthday.  

I have a project list as long as my arm and a wet cloth diaper still sitting on the hardwood floor from 2 1/2 hours ago when I changed Baby J before bed.  (*here I go to put it in the wash with the others...*)  And while the diapers now wash, the project list continues to sit, as does my bottom on our lovely mismatched couch.  

It has been a really tough week for us here, for reasons I am not yet ready to share, and yet God has found little ways to shine his love and peace through the clouds of my emotional and over-analytical mind.

For example, Baby J's devotions tonight read as follows:

"Patience and encouragement come from God." - Romans 15:5

The Shepherd knows that we need help 

To get us through our days.

He's faithful to encourage us

In big and little ways.

He sends a friend to cheer us on

Or lend a helping hand.

And when we feel like giving up,

He'll be our strength to stand!

From "Bedtime Prayers" by Bonnie Rickner Jensen (we REALLY like this book!)

Many prayers this week have begun or ended in desperate cries for answers, relief, patience, trust, understanding, and clear glimpses of his presence.  Oh, to discern the voice of God from my own clanging thoughts!  

And yet, we have not been alone in our suffering this week.  A friend wrote to me: "...there is something about the sharing of suffering that is beautiful and lightens the load.  I think that it is in acknowledging the other's pain and suffering, and walking with them as they also acknowledge and walk with you in yours... We are called to that and I know that is the only way that I can keep going."

We all suffer in one form or another.

It is in the knowing that God will send help to get us through our days, that I find comfort.

I will be honest and say that I have not felt "at peace" yet with our tough week; however, I have felt joy, and trust that a true feeling of peace will come in the days that follow.

This week the joy came....

....in watching Baby J play peek-a-boo around the corner to the kitchen (totally baby-initiated play!)

....in having a wonderful husband who held me through the tears

....in Baby J finally sleeping 12 hours TWO NIGHTS IN A ROW!

....in chatting on the phone for nearly an hour with my best friend (I don't think I've talked that long on the phone since high school!)

....in the bouquet of flowers delivered by a dear friend

....in kind and sympathetic messages from others who 'get it'

....in a morning of play with four book-loving children

....and in tonight's discovery of iGoogle and my new virtual pet hamster, "Mortimer."  (Thank you Julie!)

"He's faithful to encourage us

In big and little ways."

I will continue to look for the 'joy' until I am overcome with peace.

"My lips will shout for joy..."

If you knew my husband and I several years ago, before we were married, you would agree that we are not the same individuals that we were then.

Sure, we are now husband and wife.  We have careers (whether in full swing, or on hold).  We have a beautiful child, a home to support, goals, and dreams.  Our physical lives have surely changed greatly.  Outwardly we are not the same as we once were.

However, as of late, a true inward change has also occurred.  

Christ has been persistently knocking at our hearts.  He knocks at all of our hearts, yes, but we have really begun to listen.  It began slowly.  Joining a new church.  Teaching Sunday School.  Teaching at a Christian School.  Then there was a slow mind shift as a result of various experiences.  We fought against spiritual warfare in our own lives.  We made conscious decisions to 'do this' and 'not do that.'  Little things.  All, a slow growing and maturing.

My husband loves to read novels by Ted Dekker.  If you do not know Ted Dekker, he is a phenomenal writer of fiction, who focuses on spiritual warfare and our 'romance' with God (this is how hubby has described his stories).  

Of course, when either of us read something, we tend to share it with one another.  Ted Dekker's stories have begun to infiltrate our daily conversations.  And as a result, so has spiritual warfare, the purity of our own souls, and how we are portrayed to others.  

This Christmas I presented my husband with what some thought was an odd gift to give at Christmastime.  I wanted him to have his own Bible.  He had been reading mine until then; however, there is something special about having your own book to study and meditate upon (not to mention that you can highlight important text!).  Now that I think about it, Christmastime might be the perfect time to give a Bible as a gift!

Fast forward one week into January, and my husband suggested that it would be nice to have a one-year reading plan.  I located this one here.  What we like about this, is that it doesn't simply begin in Genesis and send you through to Revelation.  Rather, every day you read something from the Old Testament, something from the New Testament, something from Psalm, and something from Proverbs.

This has been great so far.

Randomly, I am also in the works of finding several verses to print to poster and hang in our bathroom.  In my search, I have found myself swimming in the Psalms, joining in prayer and praise with each word.  Tonight it has honestly been a feast for my eyes, my heart, my soul, and my mind.  I feel fully satisfied with words like: "Guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long" (Psalm 25:5).

And my heart dances with these words: "I will praise you with the harp for your faithfulness, O my God; I will sing praise to you with the lyre, O Holy One of Israel.  My lips will shout for joy when I sing praise to you - I, whom you have redeemed.  My tongue will tell of your righteous acts all day long, for those who wanted to harm me have been put to shame and confusion" (Psalm 71:22-24).

"My lips will shout for joy..."

And they do.

I have found myself praising God while painting.  Praising Him while playing with Baby J.  Praising Him while driving.  Praising Him in the morning.  Praising Him in my last moments before sleep.

Over the last weeks, my husband and I have grown more honest and bold in our prayers.  More specificity.  There is a real growth happening in our home!

It would be wise on my part to thank God for being patient with us, because as I mentioned, this has been, and continues to be a slow, but steady journey.

"Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever."  (1 Chronicles 16:34)

More.

My husband, our sweet Baby J and I enjoyed dinner with my in-laws on New Years Eve.  We sat around the table chatting after dinner and I ventured to ask if they had made any New Years Resolutions. 

Their answer was: "More."

"More?" I asked.

"More," they both responded.  That was it.  Nothing else followed.

('More' of what? I wondered.)

This word has floated around in my brain over the last two days (among all the millions of other thoughts that make their home up there).  And while I still do not quite understand what "more" means to them, I've realized what it means to me.

"MORE" in 2012:

- more love
- more patience
- more joy
- more compassion
- more peace
- more kindness
- more understanding
- more self-control
- more thankfulness
- more faith
- more forgiveness
- more listening
- more believing
- more praying
- more playing!

And just because I can...
- more babies!  (here's hoping!!)